but what has the lynch mob ever done to bring my slavery upon themselves? my slavery is completely unfair to those who enslave me. I don't think there is anything they haven't done to me. they deserve to die, but they are already dead.
one day I suddenly became famous (without being famous). step by step, all these things that look like people just turned into complete assholes. they let me know they knew my thoughts, and then they all would cough loudly around me. this was everywhere and everyone was the same. they would exploit me in every way. when I went to people I thought I knew they were all just the same assholes with the same personality, same behaviours etc. they kept arresting me and stuff. it was amazing. then I found out it was a fantasy world, and they no longer needed to pretend they were not a herd. the omnipresent mob used their usual (though intensified) methods to drive me to kill myself, because it was the most important thing in the world (I'm told). then they arrested me and didn't let me go for a few years.
as the years passed, I had stopped having very high expectations out of life. they just kept coughing, and I kept trying to ignore it. if I talked about it they would deny it, say that I'm crazy, and corroborate each others lies as a herd. then they kept coughing, and made it very unignorable that they were doing it on purpose. I would stick pieces of plastic in my ears etc. but they showed no mercy. then I suddenly got famous, and everyone started staring at me. I devoted an entire summer staring back at them (which they would later compensate for by all touching themselves until now it's very difficult to use my eyes around them). I kept staring at them until I was starting to get famous (I also started using websites at that point). then something happened and I suddenly got famous. then a great herd of them just kept taking shots at me, conditioning me, coughing and touching themselves, making fun of me, and then all of a sudden everyone just turned against me and left me and told me to go kill myself. for some reason I had been expecting that to happen and did not let them take away my sense of self-worth, as I had done in the past. then I got famous. they are still the same. they talk in rhymes and metaphors, and indeed do tell me things I already knew. if I talked to them about the very things they seem to be saying, they would say 'have we met?' 'I am such and such' etc. it's their programming. they are all assholes, they are all the same, they exploit me and try to make me feel worthless, they make stupid faces, they take credit for qualities they do not possess, and tell me that I don't possess them when I do. they use their great numbers against me, and nothing is ever enough for them. they don't want to have a relationship with me, and in fact don't allow it, but they refuse to not have a relationship to my life, where their role is to exploit.

the thought police: I wouldn't be able to endure their hypocrisy if I didn't know it was intentional. to everything I try to do, there is a ready way to curb it. if I let them, they'll permit themselves to rape me without limit. if I stand up for myself, then I'm acting like them.

it's so crude that I almost take it seriously. they just tell me what I can and cannot do all the time.

what a bunch of assholes. you somehow don't get used to it. they send their professors to tell me there is something wrong with saying I should have rights. then they talk about a society that is not the society I see in front of my eyes. I can't go outside. everyone harasses me and teams up against me and exploits me in every way at every opportunity. they police my thoughts with physical and psychological torture. they won't stop until my eyes and ears will start to bleed. I am physically raped and mind-raped. everything I do is monitored. as a final insult, if I turn to one of them, they will just be the same lying assholes with the same hypocrisies subjecting my behaviour and speech to standards of a society that does not exist, and permits itself to treat me in any way and then denies any of it even happens.

I've almost started feeling comfortable using my eyes again, but the leeches are taking care of that. I thought maybe all they wanted was to take away my freedom of speech and my freedom to defend myself against attacks on the street, and then they'd just invade my privacy and monitor my life in a less coercive way. it seems I only got that impression because I hadn't left my house for a while. when things get very bad, they will not be there for you. but I already knew that. but they are very eager to remind me of that at every opportunity. I once used to wonder what it would be like to live in a place where everyone is just a piece of shit. they torment you, and then they even pretend to be mad at you. if there was actually a way of making them unhappy, there would be absolutely nothing more important than making them unhappy. but no, they don't feel anything. and yet I hope they die.

I'm not so much in denial these days, and so they are. if I was in denial, suddenly they would be the saints of truth. the police state: everything is founded on fear. if I talk to them, I am reminded I am talking to nothing. they can do anything, and they can deny anything.

it is a holy ritual for them to kick you when you're down.

as they don't have the slightest clue what the fuck they are doing, they can of course tell lies with completely straight faces. everyone is also the same. often it will happen that you will momentarily believe their lies, at which point they will be very quick to rape, so quick that you wouldn't even have time to correct your own thoughts before the rape arrives.

I supposedly gave the boids too much power when committing the thoughtcrime of giving them credit for qualities they do not possess. and indeed, as always, they let themselves act as though they're entitled to do anything they please. now I know what they are, and while they still try to make themselves look big by criticizing everything I do en masse, and trying to turn my words on myself (as though boids have any fucking right to anything), the most effective way for them to make themselves look big is still threats and intimidation. there is of course also harassment, rape, and the ready exploitation of my every thought. these fucking pieces of shit just police everything. who the fuck do they think they are?

the boids permit themselves the maximum conceivable amount of hypocrisy.
the herd was talking about their facebook, as they often do. I am not allowed to even join such conversations, because they'll have to grimly remind me that I have deleted the entire herd from my account. they bring this up at every opportunity. and my reasons for deleting the herd of course don't matter. in fact, the herd denies any of its actions have even taken place. and so, the record will show that I have simply just deleted the entire herd from my account, and so have actually given them a good reason to reject me this time. when they rejected me in the first place, there must have been a good reason for that too. but the boids of course permit themselves anything. then they also permit themselves to just completely deny any of it even happened. all their actions are unitary, and then they completely deny all of it, and corroborate each other as a unit, which will be convincing enough an argument for any member of the universal herd. they still do that thing though where they pounce on me if I even say anything on facebook. and last time I tried adding someone, when I went outside everyone started barking at me. it's very convenient for them to immediately forget and deny anything they do. but if I ever do anything in retaliation, there is no end to my guilt, and no forgetting.

this is the context: I would be doing something that's none of anyone's business. that means fucking war. and the police state must utilize every fucking weapon at its disposal.